My name's Marissa. I woulda deleted this a long time ago, but it's probably one of the only things that keeps me sane. I suffered from depression and an eating disorder last year, and this is one of the only things getting me through each day. I'm not ashamed of my struggle, and I guess I'm just trying my best to stay positive and release all my negativity into this sight.
~ Thursday, October 16 ~
They say you don’t get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with that empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction and from attachment to attachment.
People think walking away is easy, “the easy way out” they say, but they must have never felt the chains that wrap around a heart filled with destructive love. Their nails have never clawed at the shackles of hope, the belief that things will get better. Maybe people think it is giving up but walking away is the hardest thing I have ever done.
The hardest part of walking away is accepting that your love isn’t enough to inspire change. Then one day you realize you were fighting to love someone more than you fought to love yourself.
~ Sunday, October 5 ~
I guess when I come to think of it, what we had meant a lot to me. You had taught me a lot of things and although it crushed me when I left and you didn’t stop me, I’m no longer as weak as I was and I guess a long the way I had figured out how to stand on my own, that doesn’t mean I don’t get a little wobbly when I see you or hear your name it just means I’m a work in progress and you’ll probably always have a spot in the back of my mind.
As much as you’ve hurt me,
And left my heart in two.
I’ll ask the moon to keep you company,
And keep a light over you.
You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.’